Night of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave B-
the movie wasn't brilliant or anything, but the film and makeup quality was good, the was a scene with a bazooka, and the main girl was liek omg.
-MilkmanDan
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Fangs
Fangs D-
This lionsgate atrocity is set in the year 1998 and is about a race of genetically altered bats that are reeking havoc on a small town. The two main actors are horrible and have about as much chemistry as a creepy crawlers lab, and you think the main dudes daughter is hot until you realize that she weighs 30lbs and has no ass. Overall the script is predictable and lame with all of the jokes falling flat on their faces. The best character is the main dudes daughters boyfriend but he has about 3 lines rendering him ineffective. This movies bite is weak and sucks the blood out of the horror genre.
-Cook
This lionsgate atrocity is set in the year 1998 and is about a race of genetically altered bats that are reeking havoc on a small town. The two main actors are horrible and have about as much chemistry as a creepy crawlers lab, and you think the main dudes daughter is hot until you realize that she weighs 30lbs and has no ass. Overall the script is predictable and lame with all of the jokes falling flat on their faces. The best character is the main dudes daughters boyfriend but he has about 3 lines rendering him ineffective. This movies bite is weak and sucks the blood out of the horror genre.
-Cook
zodiac
zodiac A-
this film might go down as fincher's quintessential work. its got classic fincher darkness, swooping camera effects, plot/character elements are revealed rather than just shown, and he adds some time elapsed shit to his repitare that works well in this film. fine performances all around the board. it works as a period piece, thriller, murder mystery, and character sketch. wtf the animal cracker bit was pretty lame.
-granola attack!
this film might go down as fincher's quintessential work. its got classic fincher darkness, swooping camera effects, plot/character elements are revealed rather than just shown, and he adds some time elapsed shit to his repitare that works well in this film. fine performances all around the board. it works as a period piece, thriller, murder mystery, and character sketch. wtf the animal cracker bit was pretty lame.
-granola attack!
Fearless
Fearless: B-
Asshole arrogant unstoppable fighting machine Huo Yuanjia beats the shit out of every fighter in the city and gets so full of himself that he ends up destroying or alienating himself from everyone he could ever care about, with exile as the only true option. That is, until he rolls into Shanghai for a politically motivated fighting tournament that is created for the sole purpose of humiliating China. Jet Li has to save the reputation of China as a strong honorable nation through a series of fights, both physical and spiritual. The action moves at a strange pace though and I felt there was less action than there needed to be with Li's mediocre acting acting as a foundation for the film to be built upon just as much as his fighting ability.
-Josh C
Asshole arrogant unstoppable fighting machine Huo Yuanjia beats the shit out of every fighter in the city and gets so full of himself that he ends up destroying or alienating himself from everyone he could ever care about, with exile as the only true option. That is, until he rolls into Shanghai for a politically motivated fighting tournament that is created for the sole purpose of humiliating China. Jet Li has to save the reputation of China as a strong honorable nation through a series of fights, both physical and spiritual. The action moves at a strange pace though and I felt there was less action than there needed to be with Li's mediocre acting acting as a foundation for the film to be built upon just as much as his fighting ability.
-Josh C
Enron Smartest Guys in the Room
Enron Smartest Guys in the Room: A
This film chronicals the development of Enron as a company and traces its unethical evolution from a loop-hole exploiting corperate entity to a black hole of debt that it sought to repair itself by raping California to death amongst other things. I wash my paychecks were given to me on a mark to market basis.
-Josh C
This film chronicals the development of Enron as a company and traces its unethical evolution from a loop-hole exploiting corperate entity to a black hole of debt that it sought to repair itself by raping California to death amongst other things. I wash my paychecks were given to me on a mark to market basis.
-Josh C
Hills Have Eyes 2
Hills Have Eyes 2 B+
Gore was awesome and characters were surprislingly well developed and the movie actually made you care about them. Craven helped write the script so thats probably why it was acceptable.
-Cook
Gore was awesome and characters were surprislingly well developed and the movie actually made you care about them. Craven helped write the script so thats probably why it was acceptable.
-Cook
TMNT
TMNT: B
I was impressed with this film. It has rejuvenated my faith in computer animation in movies. The action was fast paced and reminded me of the old-school cartoons except amplified; their personalities were exaggerations of their traditional cartoon personas, the fights were better than anything the old animation could have delivered, and the new characters they introduced were actually badass instead of being fucking pokemon like I figured they would be. My only (I think only) criticism would be that I wish Donnie and Mike had bigger parts in the move. And that Casie Jones didn't listen to emo. Oh and who new that April knows how to fight? Anyone?
-Josh C
I was impressed with this film. It has rejuvenated my faith in computer animation in movies. The action was fast paced and reminded me of the old-school cartoons except amplified; their personalities were exaggerations of their traditional cartoon personas, the fights were better than anything the old animation could have delivered, and the new characters they introduced were actually badass instead of being fucking pokemon like I figured they would be. My only (I think only) criticism would be that I wish Donnie and Mike had bigger parts in the move. And that Casie Jones didn't listen to emo. Oh and who new that April knows how to fight? Anyone?
-Josh C
stranger than fiction
stranger than fiction: A-
i really loved the writing in this movie. the characters were brought to life by top notch acting including dustin hoffman as a coffee swilling literature professor, stealing the show with his on point performance. hell, this was one movie starring will ferrel where i didnt want to strangle him the whole time. by the end, i actually... liked his character. solid, bold cinemetography, symbolism that isnt to cryptic, but effective... all around good. shoulda been an A, but... i still dont like will ferrel.
-Big Red
i really loved the writing in this movie. the characters were brought to life by top notch acting including dustin hoffman as a coffee swilling literature professor, stealing the show with his on point performance. hell, this was one movie starring will ferrel where i didnt want to strangle him the whole time. by the end, i actually... liked his character. solid, bold cinemetography, symbolism that isnt to cryptic, but effective... all around good. shoulda been an A, but... i still dont like will ferrel.
-Big Red
Disturbia
Disturbia: C-
You never saw the killer kill in the movie.... it was such a strange mixture of teen romance bullshit and new age thriller bullshit, that I couldn't get mad at either aspect of the bullshit.
-Anton Voorhees
You never saw the killer kill in the movie.... it was such a strange mixture of teen romance bullshit and new age thriller bullshit, that I couldn't get mad at either aspect of the bullshit.
-Anton Voorhees
Smoking Aces
Smoking Aces: C-
Its like Snatch for Yankee wankers. Following a typical Guy Ritchie formula, theme-based killers are locked in a blood soaked rat-race with really loud music and gritty photography. Meh. Double meh. The movie was pretty cool until the fucking emo ending gave me a brain tumor like a generation Z fetus downloading an AFI ringtone. Some of the characters were cool, but the movie as a whole is a played out cliche and would've been cool if it came out 20 years ago. Overacted, loud, predictable, and full of Piven being Piven at his most Pivenest. This is a must for fans of Ben Affleck, whoever you are...
-Josh C
Its like Snatch for Yankee wankers. Following a typical Guy Ritchie formula, theme-based killers are locked in a blood soaked rat-race with really loud music and gritty photography. Meh. Double meh. The movie was pretty cool until the fucking emo ending gave me a brain tumor like a generation Z fetus downloading an AFI ringtone. Some of the characters were cool, but the movie as a whole is a played out cliche and would've been cool if it came out 20 years ago. Overacted, loud, predictable, and full of Piven being Piven at his most Pivenest. This is a must for fans of Ben Affleck, whoever you are...
-Josh C
Do You Like Hitchcock?
Do You Like Hitchcock: C+
When complete-fucking-loser-except-for-his-hot-girlfriend Italian film student Julio starts living a Hitchcock movie in real life, paranoia and delerium motivate him to adapt a detective role and kickstart an attempt to foil the killer who prowls his hood. That's basically it. With VERY minimal gore for an Argento flick, a crop of tits, countless mini-homages, and pretty lame acting. As much as you want to dismiss the movie as boring or over-campy, you can't, because even if you don't want to admit it: there is a dimension of suspence that transcends the straight-to-dvd shittyness of the film. Also, there is a fucking retarded moped car chase.
-Josh C
When complete-fucking-loser-except-for-his-hot-girlfriend Italian film student Julio starts living a Hitchcock movie in real life, paranoia and delerium motivate him to adapt a detective role and kickstart an attempt to foil the killer who prowls his hood. That's basically it. With VERY minimal gore for an Argento flick, a crop of tits, countless mini-homages, and pretty lame acting. As much as you want to dismiss the movie as boring or over-campy, you can't, because even if you don't want to admit it: there is a dimension of suspence that transcends the straight-to-dvd shittyness of the film. Also, there is a fucking retarded moped car chase.
-Josh C
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