The Departed

The Departed: A

Cat and mouse who's who gangster flick with sufficient double-triple-quadruple crosses and Boston testosterone to feed even the most depleted 21st century attention span. Leonardo Dicaprio plays a criminal playing a cop playing a criminal trying to infiltrate a Boston mob syndicate under the umbrella of protection of Matt Damon's character, a cop playing a criminal playing a cop. But...who's the bad guy? This movie fortifies Martin Scorsese's position as one of the supreme directors of our time as he helps keep alive one of the most traditional American genres of all time. Great direction, acting, writing, soundtrack, lighting...

-Josh C

A Dead Calling

A Dead Calling: D

The acting in this horror flick was actually decent, it's just too bad the story was sodding horrible. Highlights include the main chick's giant eyes hypnotizing you into thinking she's attractive and cameo's from sid haig and bill moseley of house of 1k corpses and devil's rejects fame. Lowlights include just about everything else.

-MilkmanDan

Zombie Nation

Zombie Nation: UV

maybe i needed to stay awake for this movie, but the insides of my eyelids was the only harborage............ from this fucking piece of SHIT!

-MilkmanDan

Lady in the Water

Lady in the Water: B-

Personally I hate M. Night Shyamalan's fuckin' name, what the hell does the "M" stand for? Mystery? i hope it's something stupid like Mango. or fuckin' Margaret. what i don't hate are his movies however. His writing skills are neat and slow, intriguing enough to keep you attentive to spot twists early so you can be the life of the party when you say "oh emm gee, i liek totally saw that coming." This flick had more of a sentimental script that tried to be inspiring, but came off a little laughable.
See it just to "see" it though. His directing skills are still possibly in my top 10.

-MilkmanDan

Click

Click: B-

Basically, adam sandler gets a universal remote that controls uh,....... durh the universe. It's not that hard of a concept to grasp so i won't elaborate.
Anyway i'm happy to say it's more of an old-school Adam Sandler comedy flick
than a "anger management" "longest yard" big name comedy
anyway
christopher walken is gold as usual and
I would fuck Kate Bosworth to near death (hopefully mine before hers seeing as how that might just be the pinacle...

-MilkmanDan

Mirrormask

Mirrormask: D

Even Niel Gaiman's creativity can't save this Brittish CGI fairy tale noir about a teenage circus girl trapped in a Tim Burtonish fantasy realm composed of polygons and bad acting. This then beckons the question: Is Gaiman too complex for the screen? He might be. People curious about this movie should reread their favorite Sandman comics and save precious moments that I unfortuneately wasted following Helena on her journey through the mirror realm which, by the way, looks like it borrowed its special effects from a Gieco commercial.

-Josh C

La Jetee, Vertigo, 12 Monkeys.

La Jetee- A

Vertigo- A+

Twelve Monkeys- A

A triple feature to be reckoned with for sure. These three films are pure cinematic genius to behold.

First off, "La Jetee" the predecessor to "Vertigo" and "Twelve Monkeys" is an amazing french film told through through stills of a confused time traveller and his circular exploration through his own life's journey. Visually it could almost be a music video in it's narrative form but the picture is throughout narrated by the Time traveller. This film laid the groundwork for what became Terry Gilliam's "Twelve Monkeys." In short artistic and intriguing.

Next comes "Vertigo" the Alfred Hitchcock classic that reportedly was the film closest to his heart. Set in San Francisco and the greater Bay Area, James Stewart portrays a detective plagued with the affliction of vertigo sadly forcing him to retire his badge for fear of accountability. Meanwhile Kim Novak plays the wife of an old school chum who hires newly retired Jim Stewart to follow her and dig up information on her daily activities. Upon following her he discovers she has developed a second identity . . .

Finally we triangulate our filmfest with "Twelve Monkeys" starring Bruce Willis, Madeleine Stowe and Frank Gorshin of Batman fame. A glorified feature length version of "La Jatee," Terry Gilliam combines elements of his own vision, "Vertigo" and La Jatee to tell the story of a time traveller who is sent to the surface of a post-apocalyptic world in our possible future to trace and discover when and how a terrorist group known as the Twelve Monkeys released a deadly virus on the world wiping out the majority of life as we know it.

All films well complement one another and if viewed in the order suggested make for a great motion picture experience.

-Aussie Bridger

Nick Fury: Agent of Shield

Nick Fury: Agent of Shield - UV



I don't even know where to start the bashing of this piece of shit. Episodes of "Eerie, Indiana" had better quality and fewer mistakes than this. Hasslehoff not only sucks in his portrale of Nick Fury, he also doesn't know how to smoke a cigar. The villaness acted like a star from a 80's soap opera with a terribly underdone german accent that was so bad I'd apologize to Nazis for insulting their culture. You could see Hasslehoffs eye through his eye patch. This was to "good" what Shindler's List was to "romantic comedy."

-Anton Voorhees