stranger than fiction

stranger than fiction: A-

i really loved the writing in this movie. the characters were brought to life by top notch acting including dustin hoffman as a coffee swilling literature professor, stealing the show with his on point performance. hell, this was one movie starring will ferrel where i didnt want to strangle him the whole time. by the end, i actually... liked his character. solid, bold cinemetography, symbolism that isnt to cryptic, but effective... all around good. shoulda been an A, but... i still dont like will ferrel.

-Big Red

Disturbia

Disturbia: C-

You never saw the killer kill in the movie.... it was such a strange mixture of teen romance bullshit and new age thriller bullshit, that I couldn't get mad at either aspect of the bullshit.

-Anton Voorhees

Smoking Aces

Smoking Aces: C-

Its like Snatch for Yankee wankers. Following a typical Guy Ritchie formula, theme-based killers are locked in a blood soaked rat-race with really loud music and gritty photography. Meh. Double meh. The movie was pretty cool until the fucking emo ending gave me a brain tumor like a generation Z fetus downloading an AFI ringtone. Some of the characters were cool, but the movie as a whole is a played out cliche and would've been cool if it came out 20 years ago. Overacted, loud, predictable, and full of Piven being Piven at his most Pivenest. This is a must for fans of Ben Affleck, whoever you are...

-Josh C

Do You Like Hitchcock?

Do You Like Hitchcock: C+

When complete-fucking-loser-except-for-his-hot-girlfriend Italian film student Julio starts living a Hitchcock movie in real life, paranoia and delerium motivate him to adapt a detective role and kickstart an attempt to foil the killer who prowls his hood. That's basically it. With VERY minimal gore for an Argento flick, a crop of tits, countless mini-homages, and pretty lame acting. As much as you want to dismiss the movie as boring or over-campy, you can't, because even if you don't want to admit it: there is a dimension of suspence that transcends the straight-to-dvd shittyness of the film. Also, there is a fucking retarded moped car chase.

-Josh C

The Departed

The Departed: A

Cat and mouse who's who gangster flick with sufficient double-triple-quadruple crosses and Boston testosterone to feed even the most depleted 21st century attention span. Leonardo Dicaprio plays a criminal playing a cop playing a criminal trying to infiltrate a Boston mob syndicate under the umbrella of protection of Matt Damon's character, a cop playing a criminal playing a cop. But...who's the bad guy? This movie fortifies Martin Scorsese's position as one of the supreme directors of our time as he helps keep alive one of the most traditional American genres of all time. Great direction, acting, writing, soundtrack, lighting...

-Josh C

A Dead Calling

A Dead Calling: D

The acting in this horror flick was actually decent, it's just too bad the story was sodding horrible. Highlights include the main chick's giant eyes hypnotizing you into thinking she's attractive and cameo's from sid haig and bill moseley of house of 1k corpses and devil's rejects fame. Lowlights include just about everything else.

-MilkmanDan

Zombie Nation

Zombie Nation: UV

maybe i needed to stay awake for this movie, but the insides of my eyelids was the only harborage............ from this fucking piece of SHIT!

-MilkmanDan